we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
