i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
