how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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