it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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