It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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