thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
