Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
