I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
A bitchslap is in order.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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