So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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