thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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