here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
