She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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