1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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