Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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