his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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