I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
