How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
