too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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