Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
