his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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