are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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