She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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