i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
