i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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