Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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