brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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