you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
