I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize