Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
