Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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