How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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