thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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