i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
please don't ironically join a cult
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