How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
