She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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