I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
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you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
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Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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