One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
