I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
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