Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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