so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
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I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
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I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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