As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
