The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
