I wish I only lived at night.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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