You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
