i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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