FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
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I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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