i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
