I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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