Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
