She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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