Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
