I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
