just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
