he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
